On Talking, Again

Happy Sunday Friends!

Here’s one quote I’m musing on this week, two core ideas, three favorite things, and one question to carry with you into the week ahead.

One Quote I’m Musing

“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”

| Epictetus

It’s been a week. A month. A year. Personally. Interpersonally. Nationally. Globally.

And in all of it, through every moment and every headline, I keep coming back to this. Not as a call to silence, but as an invitation to listen deeply.

To speak with care.

To keep talking.

There was a moment this week when I felt the weight of disconnection. Not just in the headlines or the timelines, but in the little fractures. In the way people pull away when they stop understanding each other. In how easy it becomes to vilify what we don’t hear or don’t say.

And I was reminded:

When people stop talking, things fall apart.

🔍 A Reflection on Silence and Survival

I’ve said this before in other ways:

• When people stop talking in a relationship, it dies.

• When people stop talking in business, it fails.

• When people stop talking in a nation, we face civil war.

• When nations stop talking, we go to war.

This is the dangerous erosion of discourse.
Not from shouting, but from silence.

And silence rarely comes from peace.
It often comes from fatigue, from fear, or from disillusionment.
From not knowing where to begin, or whether it’s worth trying.

But the truth is, we don’t talk because we agree.
We talk so we might understand.

When we stop talking, we dehumanize.
When we stop listening, we become rigid.
When we avoid disagreement, we lose the chance to sharpen each other and ourselves.

🪞 Mirror Moments

This showed up in a recent conversation with someone I respect deeply. We weren’t seeing eye to eye. But instead of walking away, we talked. Slowly. Thoughtfully. Not to win, but to understand.

And in the exchange, something shifted.
Not in our positions, but in our perception of each other.

It reminded me of a thread from the Justice article in the Stoic Virtues series:

“Justice is not agreement. It’s generosity. A willingness to see others clearly. To treat disagreement not as danger, but as opportunity.”

We weren't arguing for the sake of argument.
We were participating in something sacred: civil discourse.

🔑 The Key Insight

Civilization is built on conversation.

Not consensus.
Not conformity.
Conversation.

We fear disagreement because we confuse it with disconnection. But true connection is forged in the space between opposing views.

The tension we feel when we disagree isn’t a threat. It’s the birthplace of new ideas, stronger communities, and a shared understanding of what matters.

We don’t need to be the same to speak to each other.
But if we stop speaking, we stop being a society.

🛠️ A Dialogue Reset Protocol

Want to reopen a conversation that’s gone cold? Use this:

Step 1: Reflect Before You Reach Out
Ask: “What am I seeking—understanding or agreement?” Aim for the first.

Step 2: Reframe the Invite
Say: “I’ve been thinking a lot about our last conversation. I’d love to understand your perspective better.”

Step 3: Start Small
Begin with a question. Not a position. Not a defense. Just curiosity. Then Listen

- This is where I need the most work

Step 4: Listen Actively
Your goal is not to win. It’s to hear. Paraphrase what they say to ensure they feel understood.

Step 5: Share Without Sharp Edges
Use “I” statements. Express your point of view with openness, not assertion.

Remember: You’re not solving the whole thing. You’re reopening the channel.

💡 Two Ideas From Me

• Keep talking. Especially when it’s hard. That’s when it matters most.

• The health of any system, personal, professional, or political is measured by the quality of its conversations.

🔥 Three Favorite Things This Week

1. Podcast: “The Art of Disagreement” by Farnam Street
   A masterclass in navigating conflict without collapsing connection.

2. Book: “Dialogue: The Art of Thinking Together” by William Isaacs
   A hidden gem. Not just about conversation, but transformation.

3. Quote Revisited: From the Digital Stoicism Musings

   “Don’t explain your philosophy. Embody it.”
   This week reminded me that listening, especially when it’s hard, is the embodiment of philosophy in practice.

❓ One Question for the Week

Where have I gone silent out of fear, fatigue, or frustration and what conversation deserves to be reopened?

Write:

“The conversation I need to return to is…”

Until Sunday, my friends.

Think Dangerously.
–e